Events are tough when you are experiencing infertility. Whether you are going through IVF, IUI, natural cycle monitoring or are unsuccessful in your natural attempts, there are many factors that make it difficult to go out and be around a lot of people and the biggest factor is mental. No matter what stage of infertility you are in, it is always on your mind. You worry about people asking you about it, about feeling left out of conversations and are in a constant battle about what to share and what to keep private. The most difficult of these events is the baby shower.
First thing to keep in mind is you do not have to go! It is very important to protect your mental health throughout infertility, it could be a long process, and you have to make sure that you can maintain your mental health throughout. If that means taking yourself out of painful situations, that’s ok. You also do not owe anyone an explanation. What you are dealing with is yours and your partners business. Let them know that you are not available and send your apologies, case closed. I am giving you permission to put yourself first. Their shower will not be ruined if you are not there.
If you decide to go, do not drink. Let me repeat that one more time, do not drink! In stressful situations, we are sometimes drawn to have an extra drink to soften the blow, this will not help. When you drink, your emotions run higher, and it becomes more difficult to control your reactions. This will be a tough situation, prepare yourself for that. Stay sharp and protect your emotions.
Make plans after the shower. This can be anything from a snack on a patio with your partner to a pedicure. Just have a plan. This gives you a hard stop to excuse yourself and something to look forward to afterwards. Make sure that your plan is relaxing. You will be drained after the shower, it will take a lot of energy and emotional strength, so think about something that would make you feel good and put it in the books.
If you are dealing with infertility, chances are you are in the age group where there will be a lot of showers. Do not let them take you down. Go to the ones you need to and skip the ones you don’t. Showers will come and go, and if people truly care about you, they will understand. If people are not understanding of your feelings, they may not be your people and that’s ok. Pull your loved ones closer and take care of yourself. You have one life, one body, and one mind, take care of them.
